Tuesday, February 26, 2013

Unemployed + Beauty Tip



I have really dropped the ball lately with my blogging and I truly apologize for the grief it caused you and your loved ones.  I would promise it won’t happen again but frankly I can barely commit to plans a day in advance. 

Just relax now, beloved friends, for I am back in action.
---
A few days ago, a new homeless man was lurking about the street corners near my work looking attractive as all get out with scruffy facial hair and a beaming smile. It was plain to see that this man, who was begging for money, was happier than I was and I certainly couldn’t have that, now could I? On a whim, I went straight up to my boss’s office and quit and then I went right back to the sexy homeless man’s corner and jacked him of all the money he had earned that day just because I couldn’t stand to see his arrogant smile. 

As it turned out, he was smiling because he was extremely high and I quit my job for no reason at all. None the less, here I am, unemployed. 

Since the days of my unemployment, I have really taken a turn for the worse. My health has declined rapidly and I no longer have health insurance. If you don’t pity me enough already, here is the kicker: the gas station nearest to me no longer sells my favorite wine.

On the bright side, I've finally found a way to look your absolute worst and still go out in public:

 

Give it a shot and you won't be let down.  My unemployment and imending death is really paying off for you people so it's a shame I start my new job on Monday. And don't worry, I will still have plenty of amazing resumes to share with you in the new job!

Until then, I will be day drinking my life away... Cheers!
 

24 comments:

Whitney Ellen said...

Now I just kind of want to quit my job and come day drink with you all day.

Helene said...

haha omg. this is awesome.

That's What She Read said...

Thanks to Helene's tweeting a link to your blog, I just started my day off laughing. so cheers to you!

LoveCaroline said...

Awesome! Hope you enjoy your last couple days of unemployment!
Found your blog through the blog Chasing Texas and am a new follower! Would love for you to visit my blog!

xo
Caroline

lovecarolineblog.blogspot.com

Cheltee T. said...

This is freaking amazing! LOL
Found your blog through Helene's Sponsor Post, so glad that I was nosy.
Newest Follower!

-Cheltee
http://somethingaboutyounme.blogspot.com/

Southern Sass said...

Just found your blog through Helene's. So glad I did. new follower :)

Amy said...

haha just found you today, hilarious! enjoy your week of freedom and wine!
Coffee Beans and Bobby Pins

Last day to enter the Mary Nichol Handbag Giveaway ($475 value)!

Jordyn said...

Haha your blog is so cute and hilarious! I can't wait to read more (:

Alex[andra] said...

I also found your blog from Helene's. This is great stuff! I hope you'll be updating regularly. Following along.

Alex[andra]
letlifebelikemusic.blogspot.ca

Night Owler said...

hey there. I'm Laney and a Newbie here. Hope you can come and follow me back! http://owltellyoulikeitislikeitornot.blogspot.com/

fb: http://www.facebook.com/LaneysNightOwlVenting


p.s. aww hun what happened and I know the feeling about being unemployed. been that way for 3 yrs now and no luck at all. it sucks.

Madeline said...

Kasey I've nominated you for the liebster award cause I love you and your hilarious self haha check it outtttttt mynameismadeline.com

Cortne said...

You are hilarious.
Cortne
cocoinmagnolia.com

Anonymous said...

Hi there! I just wanted to ask if you ever have any issues
with hackers? My last blog (wordpress) was hacked and I ended up losing a few months of hard work due to no back up.
Do you have any methods to prevent hackers?


my homepage diets that work

Anonymous said...

I visited multiple sites however the audio quality for audio songs current at this website is genuinely superb.



Feel free to visit my site ... diets that work

Anonymous said...

geotorelxzp consolidate credit cards
credit card debt consolidation

Anonymous said...

I've been exploring for a little bit for any high quality articles or weblog posts in this sort of area . Exploring in Yahoo I eventually stumbled upon this site. Studying this information So i am glad to express that I've an incrеdibly
good uncanny fеelіng Ι found out exaсtly whаt
I neeԁеԁ. Ι such a lot for surе will make suгe to dοn?
t put out of your mind this websіte and provides it а look regularly.


My blog poѕt: cialis

Anonymous said...

Hi there, this weekend is good in support of me, since this point in time i am reading this
fantastic educational piece of writing here at my
residence.

Check out my web site: click the up coming site

Anonymous said...

Hello, I check your blogs on a regular basis.

Your humoristic style is witty, keep up the good work!

Feel free to visit my homepage Nach oben

Andiepants said...

yoooo ladyyyyyy

where you at?? I miss your crazy talks and stories!!!

make sure you flash your box so you have more stories to tell

xo
Andie's Traveling Pants

Anonymous said...

May I simply say what a comfort to find somebody
who truly understands what they are discussing on the web.

You certainly understand how to bring an issue to light and make it important.
A lot more people need to check this out and understand this side of the story.
I can't believe you are not more popular given that you most certainly have the gift.

Feel free to visit my web page ... Angry Birds Online Spielen

Anonymous said...

Ahaа, its fаѕtidious dіalogue about this paragraρh at
this placе аt this weblog, I havе reаd all that, so аt thiѕ time me
also cοmmentіng here.

Also visit my blog :: Mobility Scooter Insurance

Anonymous said...

Εxcellent post. I was cheсking continuously
this blog and I am imprеssed! Verу useful information sρecially
the laѕt part :) I care foг such info a lot.
I wаѕ seeκing this particular info for a lοng time.
Thank you and best of luck.

Here iѕ my web-site diamondlinks review

Happie Reading said...

you are so funny! i am cracking up! love your blog, so happy i stumbled across it! anddd I am your newest follower! hopefully you can swing by mine sometime!

xo, Kelsey Belle | Happie Reading Blog

Anonymous said...

It's in reality a great and helpful piece of
information. I am happy that you just shared this useful info with us.
Please stay us up to date like this. Thanks for sharing.


Feel free to surf to my web blog :: container shipping uk