Friday, February 15, 2013

LOVE and PINK! (vday party photo overload)

Good morning!

Last night was a great success and I'm not even mad that I probably got diabetes from eating so many sweets. I woke up this morning and saw all the pink still up in my living room and it made my hang-over just slightly easier to handle. Thanks so much to the girls who came, I am so lucky to have such a good group of friends and I can't think of a better way to spend Valentine's Day than with you girls! Now get ready for picture overload:

and naturally...

Hope you have a good weekend! <3

Wednesday, February 13, 2013

LOVE questions, answered.

Good morning, tiny dancers. Valentine’s day is TOMORROW and naturally, I am beyond pumped. As I’ve mentioned before, I am throwing a Valentine’s Day party for my girl friends so be prepared for picture overload Friday. As for today,  I have taken it upon myself, as a love expert to answer a few burning questions that I’ve seen posted online. As always, I’m sure you will find my answers extremely helpful.

Okay, there is this guy, I have known him for a bit now, we had one class together last fall and he would not talk to me at all. We had to work together once for some project, and he would not look my direction or say a word. I just assumed he didn't like me, and at that time I didn't really care.

This semester we have another class together, and for some reason when I walked into that class I felt attracted to him. I waved to him and he waved back, but when I tried to make conversation he wont look at me at all, He talks with me for just a bit ( I start every conversation) but then stops talking after a few minuets if I don't keep it going.

I have a hard time making eye contact with anyone so I have no idea what he would do if we did, but I have noticed out of the corner of my eye he is sometimes staring at me and I have made him laugh before, but today I sat next to him and neither of us said a word.  What do you think and how is the best way to try to flirt with him?

It sounds like this guy is a pretty big loser. Guys who are shy are most likely rapists/murderers so my advice to you is to go get ‘em, lady! It sounds like you have some issues of your own if you fear eye contact so he could very well be your soul mate – do.not.let.him.out.of.your.sight. When he leaves class next time, follow him out from a few feet behind. Just as he is about to enter his car, sprint up to catch up with him and jump into his passenger’s seat. He may be slightly caught off guard but he will likely be too big of a pansy to argue with you. Go home with him and barricade yourselves inside, neither of you have much to offer the outside world anyway.

You are welcome.

I told this boy I would like to know him better and he said "ok go ahead. ask whatever you want"
The thing is I'm very shy and I don't know what to ask or where to start. Could you give a few topics or questions I could do? I would really appreciate it

You poor sweet girl. When a man tells you to ask “anything you want,” you should not hesitate. Here are a few questions you need to ask ASAP:

“Do you have a savings account?”
If yes à “Can I borrow some money indefinitely?”
If no à “Does your family come from money and if so, how quickly after meeting them would it be appropriate for me to ask them to borrow some money?”

and of course,

“How much money do you plan on spending on my engagement ring?”

You are welcome,

I want to propose to my girlfriend soon but I am concerned I am doing it too quickly. We have only been together for 7 months but I think I really love her. Should I wait or is it true that if you know, you know?

Heyyyyyyy ;). I think you are definitely moving too soon. There are plenty of fish in the sea, buddy. Look at me, for instance. I don’t like to brag but I’m a great catch and while you’re busy planning an engagement to your girlfriend, I’m getting prettier and prettier by the minute. Have you even seen your girl without makeup? Because I have.

If that is what you want in life, have at it my friend but I’m warning you – Tread lightly.

You are welcome,

For those of you who hate Valentine’s Day, don’t think of it as “Single Awareness Day,” think of it as a day to celebrate THE COLOR PINK. I don't know about you but I can celebrate that all year round.

Monday, February 11, 2013

Throw Me A Bone, Saint Valentine

With Valentine’s day only a few days away, love is really in the air. Well, at least that’s what I’ve been told although I can’t catch a whiff of it to save my life. Frankly, I have to say that with the combination of my sparkling personality and impeccable good looks, I’m a little surprised nobody has tried to put a ring on this finger yet.

Who wouldn’t want to wake up next to this face for life?

I don’t like to brag, but I really have my ducks in a row. I mean, most of the ducks are dead because I forgot to feed them but they are in a straight line, damn it.

When I walk into a room, it immediately gets classier. I haven’t punched anyone in the face in over a week and in my defense, it was his own fault for forgetting to give me my pickle with my ham sandwich.

Speaking of class, you will never catch me at a bar without at least 2 drinks in hand. Isn’t that what every guy wants in the girl he brings home to his mom?

And assuming you catch me on one of the days I showered, I smell like a rose garden.

I don’t require much in a man, really. I mean, sure I have a few deal breakers like the basics:
1.    Eating any sort of condiment within the first month of knowing me. This one is pretty standard, I would guess. I mean, what if he goes in for the kiss and there’s still a bit of mustard in his mouth?  I will head-butt your ass.
2.    Any sort of jewelry what-so-ever, even if your dead grandfather gave it to you. I mean, no disrespect… RIP and all but the jewelry has got to go.
3.    Men with small dogs. (Disgusting.)

So throw me a bone here, Saint Valentine. A non-dressing eating, family-oriented, hilarious and rich man-shaped bone please.

Monday, February 4, 2013

Weekend Recap + A Few How To's

Happy Monday, sweet chinchillas. This weekend my parents, brother, Monica and I made a trip to my parent’s lake house and enjoyed a jam packed weekend o’ fun. Unfortunately after chugging bottle after bottle of Riesling, my weekend can only be recalled via the photos below:

As we are all aware by now, excessive alcohol intake increases brain power so needless to say, I have tons of great knowledge to share with you people.

Even at the lake house, I try to look my best. All of the men in the area have at least four teeth so I needed to be prepared to be swept off my feet at any minute. With the outfit below, I think I could have pulled men with even up to six or seven teeth!

To get this look, simply avoid the shower and your comb all weekend long. Go to your dad’s sock drawer and find his most business professional socks to pair with some water shoes and to keep the look classy, never put your alcoholic beverage down.

Create a pie chart that breaks down your wants and needs. If you don’t tell him, how will he possibly know? Along with your personalized pie chart, attach a progress report to let him know how he is doing. Have him get it signed by his parent or guardian and return back to you ASAP.


Show up to his house drunk wearing two different shoes. Please note one is a flat and one is a heel.


Linking up with Sami today for the weekend update!