Tonight Kendall and I decided to get in the holiday spirit by baking/decorating some sugar cookies. “What a great night o’ Christmas fun this will be!” we so foolishly thought. Little did we know, we would soon be faced with the biggest challenge of our lives.
First, we immediately realize that we had all the ingredients but no cookie cutters. Sadly, I was literally just at Hobby Lobby staring at cookies cutters, wondering when I would ever use a thing like that and then moving on. So, we decide to head to Albertsons on a whim, forgetting that I had gotten us a pizza until we were already knee-deep into the trip.
Naturally we arrive only to find out that Albertsons doesn’t carry cookie cutters so I was forced to pull out my protest signs out of my handy dandy protest backpack and stand outside to attempt to get the store shut down. We were ignored completely by literally everyone except one gent who kindly spat in my face and attempted to pee on my shoe. Thinking maybe the guy was onto something, I started attempting the same behaviors toward other people and I was physically removed from the premises shortly after that. Little did they know, I was planning on leaving soon anyway. We had just decided we were going to use butter knives and create our own damn shapes to stick it to the man. GOT YA GOOD ALBERTONS. WE GOT YOU REAL GOOD.
Moving on. When we get back home Riley had eaten the entire pizza. I try to remain calm by remembering that in less than an hour, I would be eating some scrumptious sugar cookies anyway.
We have a few issues with basic mathematics (1/3+1/3) but manage to bake some
dang good pretty decent
cookies. When it came time to decorate however, we realize we don’t have any powdered sugar for the icing.
Since I couldn’t head back to Albertons, mostly because it was a personal choice and a little because I have been banned, I
decided to go door to door for some powdered sugar. Most of my neighbors saw me
through the peephole and pretended they didn't hear the knock but about 7 doors in, a sweet man
who barely speaks English finally answered and WIN! He has powdered sugar.
The wine bottle = Our rolling pin. Some real Martha Stewarts in the house.
Finally, we start whipping up the icing and although it LOOKED like icing, it tasted like chalk mixed with bath soap which may sound appealing but I assure you it is not.
Anyway, Merry Christmas to my coworkers; these little drops of heaven are for you:
Nope, wait. False alarm. Riley just ate them all.