It's My (Fake) Party And I Can (Fake) Cry If I Want To.

My friends and I spent the entire work day Friday trying to figure out what to do that night and let me tell you people, I don’t get paid enough for that kind of stress.  Eventually we decided on an excellent idea (see #1) that ended up being a huge success but it was definitely took some brain power to get there and unfortunately I have now maxed myself out until the new year. I know we have all been in this predicament before so I went ahead and created a list of a few ideas to mix things up on the weekends:

  

1. Throw a fake bachelorette party with your friends. Who says you have to be engaged to have a bachelorette party anyway? Wait, disregard that last question but let’s face the facts; you may never get married so you may as well fake it for a night to get free drinks and lots of attention. In case you are worried about guys not being interested in you if you are the “bride to be,” you are dead wrong. Men are scumbags and “you are not married yet!” If you do actually meet a guy with a conscious (HAHA!) you can fake cry and claim your future husband is cheating on you. Actually, you should just ahead and make it a plan to use the crying thing at least once, it really freaks people out. Don’t forget to get the bachelorette party playing cards to make things more interactive!
 

      2. If your friends are all busy, finally agree to go on a date with that guy who has been pestering you and be as obnoxious and disgusting as possible. If he is wearing a shirt with a pocket, lean on his shoulder while laughing and “accidentally” drool in it. Spill your drink all over yourself and then laugh like a crazed lunatic. When he goes for the kiss, either head butt him or kiss him and then immediately spit while looking back at him, disgusted. 

      3. Dress up as unattractive as possible, use a fake name and create an alternate personality.

                                            

In the pictures above I was a white trash mother of a whole litter of kids named Rock, Stick, Grass, Chair, Rock, Grass, and Headstone. My sisters and I had thick accents and we dominated the dance floor with some incredible dance moves that would move your soul.  We were a real hit and we got so many free drinks we had to start throwing them over our shoulders. (Party foul)

Unfortunately the weekend is over now so unless you are way more awesome than I am and go to bed post 9 pm on the weekdays, you will have to wait a whole week to use those gems. Until then, get those flasks ready; the work week is upon us!