Sunday, January 13, 2013

My Neighbors Are Assholes

Last night I went door to door for some ingredients I had forgotten, as I do most nights that I cook, but this time not one single neighbor answered their door. Even the apartments that I was 100% positive that somebody was home at, no one answered. Finally, I climbed over my first floor neighbor’s patio fence and knocked on her patio door. YOU CAN’T IGNORE ME NOW, SUCKERS. I SEE YOU AND I KNOW YOU SEE ME.

After she threatened to call the cops, shut the blinds in my face and locked the door, I started to get the idea that maybe, although it certainly seems unlikely, my neighbors didn’t like me?

The problem is, I truly can’t think of a single reason why. I deliver them cookies during the holidays and I always smile and wave when I see them? I bet it’s Riley. She has been known to jump on a few of my neighbor’s car hoods but it was out of pure excitement, throw the girl a bone ya know? Sorry that she was happy to see you. Other than that, I’ve got nothing though.

Except I have had a few complaints on my driving in the complex. Apparently, one is supposed to “slow down” over the speed bumps and I get that; I go 30 MPH which is a whole lot slower than I was going on the highway.  Also, I have been ratted out a time or two for entering through the “exit” gate and vice versa but surely those aren’t deal breakers.

Have I ever leaned on a neighbor in a time of need? Sure, but I don’t think I was over stepping any boundaries there. I simply asked that they fix my car and when they couldn’t achieve it, if I could borrow theirs. A simple loan between neighbors isn’t too much to ask and the damage to the car after I returned it was minimal at best.

With all of the things I do for this neighborhood; all that smiling and that all that waving, I have to say that I am surprised. I feel like I am being grossly mistreated here and I certainly hope they aren’t looking forward to my holiday cookies made with their ingredients this year.

I'm not sure how I will ever get over the abuse but I think I have one idea...

Happy work week, my friends.  


Love Sparkle Pretty said...

Haha this is so funny! I found your blog from the giveaway over at the daily tay and I must say, if you were my neighbor, I would answer the door. :) Unless, you jumped my patio and came to my back door! lol HILARIOUS!

Andiepants said...

WTF! I would totally give you sweet sugar as long as you brought me a case of some good vino!
Don't push my vino button lady!


Anonymous said...

There are some good websites that keep and maintain a database
of all the Plymouth Road Runner Superbird was only made
for a few years when production has been ramped up.

No matter from what scope of life you belong, having you own car is not damaged
to far resale it to the grid.

Here is my homepage :: used Cars anchorage