Friday, January 4, 2013

Harassment In The Work Place

I'll be the first to admit that my hair isn't always looking it's best but the precautions my coworkers have taken to avoid looking at me during the work day are just downright offensive:

After complaining of being lonely, he threw me a bone:


Sadly, this isn’t the first time I have had to take this kind of harassment at work so I’ve recently taken it upon myself to start harassing them back.  Some of my favorite harassment teqniquik teqniques techniques (SWEET JESUS that word is hard to spell):

1.    Asking your coworkers extremely personal details about their life. Examples: “Are you and your husband working on making a baby yet?” / “Which room do you guys typically practice the baby making? Living room? Room?” / “If you weren’t married, would you try to be with me?” / “What are your religious beliefs?” (insert answer) “That is, hands down, the dumbest religion I have ever heard of.” 
2.    Asking pregnant women at the office if they are open to giving you their babe once it pops out.
3.    Taking out your phone and, as obviously as possible, take a photo of your coworker randomly.
4.    Knocking on the stall to a bathroom that is clearly in use and asking how long it will be even though there are several other open stalls available.
5.    Kissing your coworkers shoulders ever so lightly as you walk past them.

Happy Friday, America.

16 comments:

Ashley @ LocalPostcards said...

Oh my goodness I love the last one. I think I'd die if someone did that to me, and I'd die of trying not to laugh doing it to someone else!

Stephanie said...

I really like #4, since the bathroom is already the most awkward damn place in the whole building.

Suzanne Carillo Style Files said...

Ha ha! The last one is brilliant!

bisous
Suzanne

Lisa said...

hahah thats just too funny!

Lesley said...

Oh my god, I love you. haaaahaha!

Rana said...

hahaha.... this is halarious. I love that I found your blog today :)

Anonymous said...

Wow your co worker drew a really detailed Chinese guy !

Madeline said...

Haha I am forever harassed by my coworkers. They are total ass holes, but it is totes best to throw their shit right back at them.

Corin said...

#4 = Guiltyyyyy :/ I'm also the super obnoxious co-worker who tends to start conversations with the person in the other stall. Normal, no??

Holly said...

#4 is freaking awesome. These made me laugh!!

Andiepants said...

Oh fudge! I used to block my coworker from my cube all the time! He always smelled like a little piggie and he enjoyed eating peppers like an apple. blech!

So did you end up smelling like a little piggie too? hmmmmmm... things that make you go hmmmmmm!?!?!?

Anywho, i've also been known to do #3 so don't be scared if you see a picture of them somewhere or something...ha!

xoxo
Andiepants

itbritt said...

You are so funny - seriously. but you don't need me to tell you that. Definitely keeping you in my favs.

Linny said...

HAHAHA THAT IS HILARIOUS. Sounds like you make work fun!!

Emma said...

BAHAHA i'm dying. if only i were brave enough to try one of these, it would make my life a lot better. just found your blog and it is hilarious! :)

-Emma
chasingtexas.blogspot.com

Kendahl Lanai said...

hahahahaha i love number 5, pretty sure i've never tried it but if this actually happened, it's the funniest thing ever. also, the bathroom in my office building is so awkward. you always seem the same people around the same time everyday and we never speak...

i just found your blog and am pretty sure i'm already obsessed.

astoldbykendahl.blogspot.com

Alana Gorecki said...

This is a funny way to handle office harassment! On a more serious note, however, instead of having the advantage as the complainant against your bully co-workers, you may end up being the respondent. I suggest reporting your situation to HR. And if your co-workers do not comply after being given a warning, this definitely entails hiring a lawyer.

Alana Gorecki