Typically, I drive the Ranger as if it’s an Army Tank. I run
over curbs, into buildings, mailboxes, holiday projectors (I did them a favor
with that one) and even some small humans. (Probably another favor) (KIDDING - CALM
DOWN) I drive with one hand, I drive with no hands, I drive with my knees and
sometimes I even drive with my teeth so you can see why driving something I
have to handle with such great care is no easy task for me.
After about 8 minutes
of keeping my eyes on the road and two hands on the wheel, I realized I was not
cut out for this kind of labor; after all, I am no workhorse. Around the same
time I had this realization, I happened to be passing by a student driving
school so I did what any rational adult would do and pulled on in to pick up my
own personal student driver, claiming I was the instructor for the day. At the
time I was congratulating myself on the most genius idea ever: a fifteen year old under the impression that
his license depends on my judgment of his driving, but what I did not consider
is that little Carlos would be a little too timid and never accelerate past 70
MPH no matter how hard you peer pressured him. What a little bitch.
Needless to say, I kicked Carlos to the curb pretty quickly, making
him hitchhike back to the driving school and forcing me to get back behind the
wheel. It took me a solid hour to get home today and it normally takes just 15
in the truck. I am completely worn out and I will be billing that deadbeat
child’s parents for my time which should make up for the money I lost in
calling into work for the rest of the week until the Ranger's fixed... A girl can only do so much.
Some great times in the Ranger; not even having to look at the road.
6 comments:
HAHA OMG. Where do you come up with this stuff?! You are amazing.
Really is kind of a genius idea! I hope that little tidbit falls under the "90% factual" category. Ha! Glad I found your blog, girl.
Hey :) I nominated you for a Liebster Award! The details are on my blog- www.localpostcards.blogspot.com
Ashley
Seriously we must trade brains. I need to be this creative.
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