Are You Smarter Than a 7 Year Old? I'm Not.

Good afternoon loyal readers who I can only assume must be bedridden insomniacs,

I apologize for the lack of recent postings but frankly I’ve been booked solid playing the role of Mary in a neighbor’s Nativity scene. It’s no easy task trying to breastfeed a plastic babe but I think I mastered the art eventually.

Thanksgiving was spent in Wimberly, TX with 40 members of my family and 5 dogs despite the fact that “absolutely NO pets” were allowed. We ate, drank, shopped, tailgated and laughed a lot at my adorably perfect little nephew. You can’t ask for much more than that!

After Black Friday, I am sad to announce that I am completely broke. Not because I shopped too much but because my 7 year old cousin bet me fifty bucks that Obama wasn’t the president of South America and I took him up on it, causing me to lose my entire bank account. Who knew that it was a completely separate continent and not just the southernmost part of the USA? Not this girl. He got me good.

I have a lot of aggressive family members that are expecting to open a present from me on Christmas and I certainly don’t want to disappoint them so I decided to get a part-time job at a local restaurant. I started on Sunday at 2 pm and was fired on Sunday at 4 pm for having a natural frown and a lackluster personality. After getting fired, I treated myself to some ice-cream, using my last 2 dollars and then I ran out of gas on the way home. Luckily, I was just barely able to pull into a Jack in the Box parking lot where I was offered money from a Jack in the Box employee; I graciously accepted while cussing out my aunt and uncle in my head for raising such a brainiac.

You know your life has really gone downhill when you are accepting money from a fast-food employee and I certainly hope that my family can keep that in mind when they open their elaborately decorated pinecones this year.